Kids who have lots of friends seems to understand that friendship is a give and take, that friendship requires effort, and that sometimes you need to think of the other person before you think of yourself. So how can you teach your child friendship skills?

Compliment Others

Everyone loves to be complimented — it is human nature — and the kids who have the most friends seem to be at ease with complimenting the academic skills, physical prowess, physical appearance, or social savvy of other kids. Popular kids understand that complimenting others doesn't take anything away from themselves, and when they admire something about another child, they tell them.

When was the last time you received a spontaneous and unexpected compliment? How did it make you feel? Pretty good? And how did you feel about the person who issued the compliment? Did you feel positive feelings for them?

If the compliment was genuine, you probably did have a good feeling toward the person who complimented you. Share this phenomenon with your child and help her understand how making others feel good about themselves will reflect positively on her.

Offer to Help

Researchers have discovered that helpful people are usually well liked. Teach your child to pitch in and help whenever someone needs it. This is not to say you should encourage your child to be a doormat; it simply means that offering help to someone who needs it is viewed positively by all.

Ask to Join In

When your child sees kids who are doing something she thinks she would enjoy, encourage her to join in. At times, she will be able to simply join the activity. Other times, she may need to ask permission to join in (such as when a game is already established and in process). Help your child understand that the worst that will happen is that a child might say no. Let her know that it isn't the end of the world; she can simply say, “Maybe next time” and walk away. Once she achieves a few successful yes responses, she will feel more confident approaching kids at play.

Show Appreciation

When kids include your child in an activity or game, let her know that the gracious thing to do is to say, “Thank you. That was fun.” Showing appreciation is yet another way to create a positive social climate for your child.