One of the best ways to help your child improve her interpersonal and social skills is to teach her the basics of effective communication. Researchers know that some kids who get bullied tend to broadcast via their body language that they don't feel good about themselves. They don't make eye contact, they slouch and look downtrodden, and they seldom smile and look happy.

There is argument and disagreement in the psychological community about whether the victim body language was there first (before the bullying began) or whether it developed as a result of being bullied. Either way, it is something you can train your child to be aware of.

The use of the word “train” is intentional because it can be hard to retrain your child to engage in new and different behaviors. Humans are creatures of habit, and displaying poor body language may have become a habit for your child. You will need to be patient and prepared to consistently point out proper body language and positively reinforce it when you do see it.

Eye Contact

Failure to make eye contact is usually an indication that your child is insecure. Think about it for a moment: When a person makes eye contact with you, it sends a signal that the person is confident, honest, and forthright. When someone refuses to look you in the eye, human nature is to become suspicious and uncertain of the intentions and state of mind of the other person.

You can practice this skill at home. Start a conversation with your child and teach him to hold eye contact for a few seconds at a time. Slowly build up the amount of time your child can maintain eye contact until he can confidently hold a conversation while looking directly at you. Have him practice this skill as often as possible. This skill will help him in all his social interactions.

Posture

Confident kids hold their heads up high and greet the world with enthusiasm. Bullied kids tend to draw in on themselves in an attempt to disappear. But you can teach your child to hold his head high, square his shoulders, and sit and stand up straight. You might want to practice these things in front of a mirror with your child; he may be able to understand the impact of his slouch better if he can see it in the mirror.

Take him to a public place and study the people who pass by. Ask him who seems confident and friendly and who doesn't. You may see people who stand with their arms crossed — this signals “keep away” and can seem hostile to another person. Point out these subtle actions and body postures to your child. Watch television together and study the body language of the characters on a show or in a movie. Look for examples of great body language and explain to your child why we react more positively to open, confident, and friendly postures.

Facial Expressions

This is the trickiest component of body language for kids to learn. Kids are usually open books (meaning you can see exactly what they are feeling simply by looking at their face). If your child is unhappy, his face is a scowl. If he is sad, his face holds a crestfallen expression. If he's happy, his face is lit up with joy. No doubt you can read him like a book.

Problem is, so can everyone else. For a bullied kid, this is not good. A bullied child is frequently upset, angry, and scared. These types of facial expressions will put off other kids. They will see your child as unfriendly, hostile, or unapproachable and this will make it harder for him to socialize successfully.

Stand your child in front of a mirror and have him close his eyes. Ask him to think of a recent unpleasant or hurtful event. Ask him to open his eyes to see his facial expression. Then ask him to close his eyes again and think of the best and happiest moment of his life. Have him open his eyes and look at his reflection. Did he notice the difference between the two expressions?

Discuss the importance of gaining mastery over his facial expressions. Explain to your child that people are attracted to relaxed, happy faces. Tell him that when people smile and are aware of keeping a pleasant expression on their face, other people see them as positive, happy people.

Cut out pictures from magazines of happy faces, angry faces, sad faces, scared faces, etc. Have your child use these pictures to practice making different faces in the mirror. Once he realizes that he has some control over what others think he's thinking and feeling, he will feel more in control.