How Parents Can Help
The most important thing you can do is talk to your daughter. Listen to what she has to say and what she thinks about the things that are happening around her. Encourage communication any way you can. Ask questions, talk to your daughter's friends, and be available when she's in the mood to talk.
Initiate conversations in the car, at the dinner table, and while having late-night snacks. Drop in when she's working or doing homework in her bedroom. Pull up a chair and ask what she's working on. Be interested in the events and activities that your child is exposed to.
Encourage your child to talk with the other adults in her life. Get to know the parents of your child's friends and create a social safety network. The more grownups who are aware of what is going on in your daughter's life, the better off she will be.
Teach her to respect herself and how to stand up for herself. Be sure to model healthy assertiveness and prosocial behavior so your daughter can see how it is done. Celebrate your daughter's accomplishments and acknowledge her efforts. And don't forget to love her for who she is — not who you want her to be.
Fact
Mean Chicks, Cliques, and Dirty Tricks: A Real Girl's Guide to Getting Through the Day with Smarts and Style by Erika V. Shea-rin Karres is a book written for tweens and teens who may be struggling with backstabbing, gossiping, bullying girls. The book breaks girl predators into groups (The Bully, The Snob, The Traitor, etc.) and provides tips on how to handle each type of aggressor.
Always discourage violent and aggressive behavior, and if you see these types of behaviors developing, don't hesitate to get your daughter help. If you think your daughter might be bullying, step in and educate her on the social and relational pitfalls bullying may cause. If she can see that bullying is also harmful for the bully, it might be an eye-opening experience. If she continues to bully, seek professional help. With the legislation being constantly changed and updated, your daughter runs the risk of being accused of a crime if her behavior continues or escalates.
If you see warning signs of bullying such as anxiety, mood changes, or depression, seek out more information. If you discover your daughter is a victim, be there for her. Support her. Help her understand the dynamics of social/emotional/relational aggression, and work with her to decrease the stress and negative effects.
Would you recognize the signs of depression in your daughter?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, some symptoms of depression include persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings; irritability; restlessness; loss of interest in activities or hobbies; difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions: insomnia; overeating or appetite loss; and persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.
Girls look up to the women in their lives, and they look for cues as to how to behave in certain situations. Make sure you are providing a good role model for your daughter by doing the following things:
Behave ethically — Hold yourself to a high moral standard.
Take responsibility for your actions — When you make a mistake, admit it.
Keep a positive attitude — The power of positive thinking can improve any situation.
Model a healthy, balanced lifestyle — Take care of yourself.
Serve others — Volunteer to help those less fortunate.
Take care of your emotional health — Find constructive ways to relieve stress.
Value education — Continue to learn and grow.
Be reliable and trustworthy — Be someone your daughter can count on.
Value friendships — Enjoy, support, and cherish your female friends.
