It can be summed up in three words: love your boys. Don't expect your three-year-old to suck it up when he falls down and scrapes his knee. Kneel down, hug him, and give his boo-boo a kiss, just like you would do for his sister. Don't tell your six-year-old to toughen up or call him a mamma's boy when he strikes out at T-ball and cries. Give him a few minutes to compose himself, give him a hug, and remind him how proud you are that he did his best.

And don't expect your tenor 12- or 14-year-old to act like a man. He's not a man, he's a boy; and boys need your love, acceptance, and support. Pushing a child to behave in ways that deny his feelings, emotions, and inner struggle to love and be loved will inadvertently create a hostile and overly aggressive child.

Researchers know that many boys who bully are mistreated and abused by their parents, other authority figures, or their peers. It makes sense when you examine and understand the developmental process. Kids model their behavior after the important people in their lives. So don't let your child learn how to use aggression and violence to hurt others. Instead, help him develop his full potential to grow into a caring, compassionate, and confident young man.