Keeping Negative Feedback Positive
Has it fully sunk in yet? You have to walk on the positive side of the street when coaching your employees. But wait just a minute, what about this thing known as negative feedback? It's discussed in detail in Chapter 6, and it's an important part of a coach's job to dispense it when appropriate. How does negative feedback work with all of this power of positive thinking stuff?
First, you may recall that negative feedback lies under the beach-sized umbrella of constructive feedback, which means its aim is just that — to be constructive and advance positive outcomes. It's not meant as criticism. It's not personal in nature. It's not intended to be judgmental in the negative sense.
Part of your job as a coach is to offer constructive feedback — positive or negative — as warranted. You must also make it clear to your employees that negative feedback is dispensed with the purpose of achieving positive results, i.e., helping them correct their negative behaviors, and not as personal attacks.
Negative feedback should be parceled out to an employee if he or she exhibits a performance or behavioral problem. When things go awry at the office, you're not expected to put your head in the sand in the interest of somehow being positive. There's nothing positive about ignoring problems and hoping they go away.
This is real life we're living in. Dealing with problems fast and firmly — even if it means dispensing negative feedback — is positive, because the end game is to uncover the best possible solutions.
Yeah, right! Tell that to employees who are the recipients of negative feedback! Not everybody takes negative feedback in the spirit in which it is intended. Some employees feel that the negative feedback given to them is — well — negative. And they don't see it as delivered with their best interests at heart. So, guess what your job is in these circumstances? You guessed it — convincing your skeptical employees that you're not being critical of them, but merely seeking solutions to problems (yours and theirs), of course.
Adaptability on the Coaching Frontier
A coach's life is never dull. Employees now and then are going to take things personally, even if your feedback is calculated to help them in the Honest Abe tradition of “with malice toward none — with charity for all.” Accept this as part of the reality of dealing with so many temperamentally unique employees. Some people are very sensitive souls and are prone to be defensive. Hence, they may have a tough time with any kind of negative feedback.
Still, you have no choice but to work with these personalities. They can't be avoided, nor can they be treated just like everybody else. That said, you've got to treat sensitive and defensive employees with extra special care. We're not talking about TLC or anything so syrupy. It's more about you understanding that individual personalities will react to your coaching methods in distinctive ways. The advantage of being a coach, in contrast to the more traditional manager, is your adaptability to a variety of situations and a variety of temperaments.
With employees who are hypersensitive and apt to be on the defensive, it's imperative you practice sensitivity-plus with them when problems arise. That is, make a concerted effort to modulate your tone and overall presentation, and make them free from anger and any hint of personal judgment.
The important first step in this adaptability mode requires that you accept that not everybody in your employ will fully appreciate what you're trying to accomplish in your role as a coach. It's just the nature of the beast — insecurity lives on Main Street and on Wall Street. Okay, you accept that negative feedback given to Ellen impacts her in a positive way, which is what you want. But the same negative feedback given to Kenny impacts him in a decidedly negative way, which is what you don't want.
When your employees accept your feedback, run with it, and make the necessary adjustments in performance or behavior to better themselves, you've achieved your objective. On the other hand, if your employees receive the feedback and react defensively and angrily, this is liable to engender negative outcomes to already negative situations. And this compounding of the negative with a negative is unacceptable to a coach.
