Students: Show Them You Care
Show students you care about them, because teaching isn't a profit-driven endeavor. Rather, teaching is a sacred calling that produces intelligent, productive citizens.
A great way to show students you care is to address them formally, as you've read earlier. Addressing students by titles and last names — “Miss Jones,” “Mr. Chan” — demonstrates to students that you're according them the same respect they must accord you.
You also show students you care by refraining from unnecessary touching. As you've learned, touches can be misinterpreted. Keep your hands to yourself, and show kids that you respect them enough not to inadvertently offend them with constant pawing.
In the Harry Potter films, kids at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are addressed by titles and surnames — “Mr. Potter,” for instance. That's because in Britain, students are routinely addressed in this respectful manner, even in primary grades. Give it a try.
“But kids need hugs!” you might protest. Maybe, but you're not the one who should hug them. Let parents hug; your job is to give kids the knowledge they need to compete successfully in life. Your students will respect you far more if you refrain from hovering and touching and grabbing.
Another way to build relationships with kids is to handle kids' delicate personal issues with discretion, tact, and compassion. For example, if a student's body odor eventually becomes so bad that her seatmates complain to you, help your little stinker maintain her dignity.
Don't announce, “Jane Rank stinks, so I'm sending her to the bathroom to wash that funk off!” As the class roars with laughter, Miss Rank slinks from the room in disgrace. Now she's your sworn enemy, and the sensitive kids in class may judge you to be a cruel, heartless teacher.
In his book Clinical and Forensic Interviewing of Children and Families, psychiatrist Jerome Sattler lists child-abuse indicators, including this one: “Child is unwashed.” Meaning, a foul-smelling child may be a victim of child abuse. Send the student to the nurse — discreetly — so the child knows you're her ally.
Instead, take Miss Rank into the hallway while the other kids are working. Tell her she's a good person and add, “But your seatmates can't sit next to you anymore. Do you know why?” If she seems puzzled, say, “Because you need to wash a little. You're a nice girl, but you must keep clean. I'll send you to the nurse with a note and she'll speak to you, okay?” Then, immediately send her down. When she returns, she'll appreciate how tactfully you handled her situation.
Another opportunity to get kids on your side arises during teacher-student conferences. Don't scream, “Jane Rank, you're disrespectful and lazy! Shape up or I'll make you wish you'd never been born!” Miss Rank is now either humiliated or furious, and is your newest enemy.
Here are some rules for conducting a teacher-student conference: Mentally rehearse what you'll say beforehand so you don't skip anything. Keep classroom doors open so that passersby can see what you're doing. Don't shout — it's unprofessional. Keep your hands to yourself to avoid misunderstandings. And afterward, jot down a record of what was said.
It may be tempting to verbally slight a student who constantly disrupts your class; instead, tell her, “Miss Rank, you've got a great sense of humor and making people laugh can be fun. But when you horseplay during my lessons, you're keeping everyone from learning. I won't tolerate that. Your education is too important. Quiet down or I'll call your parents today for a conference.”
You've now framed the discussion in the proper context: Jane Rank needs her education, and you'll make certain she gets it. The teacher-student conference is no longer about your supremacy, but about ensuring that she and the rest of your students receive a first-rate education.
