Maintain Your Own Health Status
It is always in your best interest to do whatever it takes to maintain or improve your own health status. Whenever you are involved in a situation of responsibility, it is also important to ensure you remain part of the solution and don't become part of the problem. Therefore, as a caregiver, it is even more important for you to take care of yourself.
Even first responders are taught to evaluate a situation before they jump right in. If it isn't safe for them to help, they have to stand back and do what they can to make the situation safe or give their best efforts without becoming part of the emergency. This may seem awkward, but it is necessary to provide for the best possible outcomes.
The flight attendant tells you to put your oxygen mask on first and then assist your children with theirs; if you can't breathe you aren't going to be much help for your children. In SCUBA diving, if your partner's oxygen is cut off for some reason, you need to take several breaths first and then share your mask.
To be effective at care giving, you have to take care of you. You have to:
Set limits and learn to ask for help.
Find a support group.
Learn when it's time to take a break, and do it.
Nurture your own life and keep up with your hobbies.
Take care of your relationships with your spouse and your children.
Laugh every chance you get.
Enjoy the fact that you are helping make the last years for your parents comfortable and manageable.
Learn all you can about the situation to make your job easier.
Avoid addictive habits with tobacco and alcohol.
Accept the fact that you may need to place your parent(s) in a nursing home.
You need to forgive yourself. You will find times you are angry and resentful. If you have had a bad relationship with your parents, this will be even harder. Understand that some of your anger and resentment is focused on the situation and not directed at your parent. However, if dementia is involved, you may find you have little patience and a short temper that is directed at your parent.
This is all normal. An underlying factor is grieving for the loss of your parent as you knew her, as well as for the loss of your life as you knew it. Being thrust into a situation you aren't prepared for and don't want to face is difficult. Having little control over events is not a happy circumstance. Much like having to give up a vacation because your children have all come down with chicken pox, your life is going to be put on hold frequently while you take care of your parents.
Some of the most important things you can do include eating right, getting plenty of sleep, and taking a break. A multivitamin will help keep your immune system strong. Get regular exercise, and keep up to date with your medical and dental checkups.
