E-mail and Etiquette
E-mail can be an easy way to distribute information to family members quickly and ensure the same information is given to all. It's easy to build a distribution list in most e-mail software and with one click send the same note to everyone without having to rewrite or resend it several times.
If you have difficulty building a distribution list, you can usually easily add contacts to the “To” section by scrolling through a list and checking off each person as you go through the list. (See Chapter 20 for further instructions.)
You can add photos and other documents to your e-mail as needed. Photos go a long way in telling a story and letting others see how loved ones are really getting along. If you want to send copies of documents such as a DPOA, health-care proxy, advance directives, or a medication list, you can scan it and add it to an e-mail. Most scanner software now has the capability of saving a document as a .pdf file, which is easy for the recipient to open and to save or print as needed.
Because you can save considerable time by only having to write one email to send to several recipients, perhaps you can write a more detailed message and even include a personal message from Dad to all. It is important, however, to read over what you have written before you send it out. Perhaps you should have another family member look it over as well, especially if there is any sensitive information included.
Written documents are open to interpretation and can be easily misread or misinterpreted. Sarcasm, for instance, doesn't translate well into written words. Be sure to add a few asides if you are being funny, sarcastic, or downright silly so everyone gets it and no one takes offense. Using all capital letters usually indicates shouting or other extreme emphasis.
If you have something sensitive or difficult to communicate, e-mail may not be the best choice. You could send an e-mail to your list, calling for a family meeting or phone conference, or just telling them all to call or visit you at their convenience.
It's also important to set some ground rules if you're going to use e-mail as a means of communicating family business. Remember, this is a written format, and it can be printed or read by other eyes, with or without your knowledge. Keep this in mind, and caution your siblings to maintain privacy. If you don't want someone to know something, don't put it in an e-mail.
Keep a positive tone to your e-mails. Don't badmouth or criticize others; e-mail should not be used to solicit sides in an argument or disagreement and then to spread rumors or ill will. If you have differences of opinion, you should have a family meeting and discuss them openly when everyone has an opportunity to participate.
If you can't get together, you should have a conference call over the phone. Face-to-face discussions or at least phone conversations can be more helpful under these circumstances, as voice inflections and tones can tell a lot more than written words, and perhaps cause others to reflect on what they are saying and how it sounds.
