How to Care for Yourself
You can't continue to help anyone if you don't have the energy to do it. If you have let yourself burn out, you need to rest and replenish before you can provide care again. If you don't, you can become physically ill. You can wear down your immune system and become susceptible to colds and flu, any chronic illness you may have become exacerbated by the stress, and you may see new health issues emerge.
In addition to seeking respite care or temporary placement, some things that can help prevent or relieve burnout include scheduling time for you:
Have a regular date night with your spouse.
Plan for a thirty-minute soak in the tub with bubbles, candles, and maybe a glass of wine.
If you're stuck in the house with your parent, set aside a time each day for a personal phone call with your spouse, children, or a good friend.
Be sure to eat regular meals and nutritious foods. Resist the urge for fast food or sweets.
Get plenty of rest. If you have to get up frequently at night to attend to your parent, schedule a power nap in the afternoon. The goal is at least seven hours of sleep every day.
Schedule exercise into your day. If that means dancing while vacuuming or doing the dishes, running up and down the stairs, or just taking five minutes for some stretching, at least you are doing something for yourself.
Join a support group or participate online.
Spend time with friends. Go out with them or invite them in. Share some food and good time together.
Something else that can be helpful is writing a daily diary. Share your most intimate thoughts, fears, and experiences about this time in your life. Expressing your feelings can help you find a new perspective and release pent-up emotions. The diary can also become a source of comfort to you sometime in the future when you want or need to remember specifics about this time in your life and the care you provided for your parents. You probably won't remember as much as you think you will, and having a written remembrance can help ease your guilt or revisit special moments during the last days, weeks, or years of your parents' lives.
Another place you may turn is to your faith. Your pastor, priest, rabbi, or other spiritual leader may be able to visit with you alone or with you and your parents and help bring some perspective and guidance to the situation. He may also provide you with some welcome encouragement for your efforts or suggestions for other assistance. Going to church or synagogue may provide you with some well-needed respite and time to reflect.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to laugh every day. Laughter is cathartic; it will help you release other emotions and stressors. It can help your whole system find balance. Laughter is healing and can renew your spirit and revitalize your energy.
Make an effort to find something funny. Read the daily comics or find a light-hearted comedy to read or movie to watch. Try to see the humor in the day's events. Laugh about your mistakes or mishaps. Laughter is contagious; tell a joke and make your parents laugh. Talk about old times and family outings that got ridiculous. Laugh together and enjoy your memories.
Lastly, don't overlook or avoid your own health issues. Take care of your body. See your own physician as needed. If you have health issues of your own such as high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol levels, diabetes, or arthritis, follow your regimens carefully. Take your medications as directed, eat right, have a mammogram, get a flu shot. If you are depressed, can't sleep, or have other issues, ask about some medication to get you over the hump. You might be deficient in a few vitamins or minerals from the stress and need a good multivitamin. You are an integral part of the solution; don't become part of the problem.
