When and How to Move Your Parents Closer
It's certainly one thing if your parents or in-laws live within a few hours' driving time — you can take a long weekend each month and attend to matters to assist them in remaining in their own home. However, if they live across the country or even in another country this may make things much more difficult. At some point, you will probably have to consider moving them closer to you, or you and your family closer to them.
This too won't be an easy task, and there are many considerations to take into account. Moving them away from friends and familiar surroundings can exacerbate or even initiate issues such as dementia and depression. While there may be no other alternatives, you need to be aware of this fact and prepared to deal with it.
Change can bring about changes in other conditions as well. Blood pressure can become unstable for a while. Blood sugar can be either raised or lowered by stress. Pain management and coping mechanisms can also be affected.
If the risks of leaving them in their own home outweigh the risks of change, then you may have no choice. Be mindful of the fact that your parents should always be informed and involved in these decisions. Giving them the opportunity to express their concerns and to provide input will help them cope with and accept the changes.
New surroundings can cause confusion. Your parents could experience greater or even a sudden difficulty with balance and gait. They get used to a place and know where the furniture is. They depend on it to hang onto or to maneuver with confidence and are even able to avoid stubbing toes in the dark. Move them to a new place and they might have issues or even fall.
Help Them Stay in Touch and Make Choices
Providing ways to help them keep in touch with the friends and neighbors they leave behind will also help them adjust. Webcams and e-mail can help them stay in touch on a regular basis. VoIP (voice over Internet Protocol) phone systems, also known as Internet phones, provide local and long-distance phone service for one low monthly rate. Cell phones usually include a free or low-cost long-distance calling option as well.
Allowing them to make choices or have input in the options for new living arrangements will also help them adjust to the move. If you are moving them into your home and they feel this is a burden, assure them they will have responsibilities and ways to help you that will help ease that burden and guilt.
One of the most important factors in moving your parents closer to you is changing their health-care team. This is something you may want to begin to do long before you actually make the move, especially if your parents have any severe or chronic medical problems. Seek a referral from their present PCP if possible. You might also request a recommendation from your own PCP. Contact the new office to arrange for a visit to establish care soon after they arrive. Moving may cause an exacerbation of these issues and you may find an urgent need for medical care. If you are prepared, this will be a much easier transition.
