Generally, when a couple divorces, they first separate. In fact, in some states, couples are not allowed to divorce until they have first separated — in some cases, for as long as six months or a year. In other states, however, a lengthy separation is not required.

Generally, the person asking for the divorce moves out of the household, but that is not always the case. If one spouse will be retaining the majority of the custody of the children, that spouse may keep the house, even if he or she requested the divorce.

Regardless of who's staying where — and even whether the house will eventually be sold or will be kept by one of the spouses — one spouse probably has to find a place to stay and get some furnishings. In other words, you have to start operating as two households, which are separate financial entities.

Finding a New Place to Live, Even Temporarily

You have several options as you look for a place to live during a separation: Stay in a hotel; bunk with a friend or with family; rent a place of your own; buy a place of your own.

What's best for you depends on your financial situation, but in general, your best bet is a long-term hotel option (provided it's not lavishly expensive) or a short-term rental (with a six-month or one-year lease, at most).

Staying with a friend or family generally leads to problems; most people choose this option because they're sure their relationship problems will resolve, thus they don't want to commit to any longer-term option. But most separations are not temporary, which leaves the person who's bunking with a friend living in limbo, hoping for reconciliation instead of healing and moving on.

In addition, although separation is a deeply sad time for most people, it is also a time for intense self-reflection, a process that is difficult to enter and sustain if a roommate or housemate is always around. If you choose this option, before you move in, set an end date — perhaps two or three weeks in the future — that your friend agrees with.

Buying a place is also not a terrific option, mainly because you're not likely to be in a state to be making sound long-term decisions. (Incidentally, this is also why remarrying within the first two years of a divorce is not a good idea.) You're better off finding a place of your own that you can temporarily call home. From that base, you can begin to look for more permanent housing, perhaps six months, a year, or longer from the time you first move.

Furnishings and Other Necessities

Unless you move into a furnished apartment or hotel, you're going to need to set up your household, and this can be a budget buster. You'll take with you your clothes, perhaps some of your books and DVDs, and maybe a few personal items like a laptop or iPod.

Eventually, you may also split up your furnishings, but at first, it may just be you and your clothes, which means you need a bed, dresser, living-room furniture, dining table or other place to eat, bookshelves, pots and pans, dishes, silverware, beddings, towels, and the like. And this all adds up!

Although you may think your best bet is to buy high-quality items that will last for years, the opposite is usually true at this time. Instead, consider everything you buy at this time to be fairly temporary, because your tastes, desires, and needs may change radically over the next year or two.

So, go for the minimalist approach, shopping at garage sales for furnishings (which you can paint in order to spruce up) and going discount for just about everything else. In a year or two, when you start to feel comfortable in your new singleness, you can slowly start to acquire higher-quality pieces.

Bank Accounts and Credit Cards

Before your divorce can be finalized, you'll need to separate your bank accounts, credit cards, and other loans. If you don't have a balance on your cards, you can simply decide who gets which cards, and take the other's name off by calling the credit card companies. Many credit card companies will also issue a separate credit card (one with a different account number) to the spouse who is not the primary card holder.

If you do carry a balance, however, that account will become part of your divorce settlement, either to be paid out of the proceeds of selling the house, or to be paid by one of the two of you. When the card is paid off, it can either be canceled or it can revert to the primary card holder's name.