It's exceedingly common for people to go into debt during the first year of a separation or divorce. Part of the reason is the transitory nature of the separation; the unanswered questions: Will you get back together? Will the house fetch a fantastic price? Will you meet someone wonderful — and wealthy?

These unknowns, combined with sudden and unexpected expenses, can quickly lead to debt.

For many people, especially those who have been married a long time, divorce also represents a time to express long-hidden aspects of one's personality. So, many people who are newly separated finally buy that convertible sports car or spring for a new wardrobe. Why? Because they can, darn it!

Yes, you absolutely can. And maybe, in some ways, you need to find ways to assert who you are during this time of change and uncertainty.

But as any good therapist will tell you, chances are, anything you buy during the first year or two after your divorce will tend to be whatever your ex-spouse hated, not necessarily what you like or want. If your ex-spouse hated purple or yellow, you may decide to decorate lavishly in both colors — even if your favorite is really green — just to stick it to him or her.

So, your best bet for your financial picture is to spend cautiously during this time. You don't want to end up with a lot of yellow and purple that you then have to live with for another decade. Worse, you don't want to end up broke or deeply in debt when all you really needed was time to grieve, heal, and move forward.

The solution? Identify your essential expenses. For anything else, keep a list of items you'd like to purchase exactly two years after your divorce is final. Save up for those items, and on the two-year anniversary of your divorce, go crazy.

By that time, you'll likely have had time to heal, get a better handle on who you are, and understand where your personal tastes lie.