During a divorce or separation, perhaps the toughest of times, it's important to keep a cool head. If that's not your nature, meet regularly (daily, even) with a friend or counselor who can help you talk through your frustrations and fears.

Generally, the biggest fear is that of women who haven't been working outside the home and don't know how they're going to handle their finances in the weeks and months ahead. If this sounds like you, be sure to create a budget, and then sit down with your spouse and/or lawyer, and determine what funds you can tap to pay your daily expenses.

Although this divorce may force you to return to the work world sooner than you expected, the initial days following the decision to divorce is not the time to start job hunting. Preparing a resume, targeting the right companies, writing cover letters, and going on interviews is stressful enough, but at this time in your life, it could send you over the edge.

Instead, for the short term, focus on finding ways to access some funds, and whether your spouse is required by law to continue to pay your joint bills, even if you're no longer living together.

Also take care of your children. This may be a miserable time for them, so they need both you and your spouse to be available to answer questions and to guide and support them. If funds allow, try to let their lives continue as planned: If they were going to attend horse camp this summer, work to keep that possible, in spite of the divorce proceedings.