Children and Practice
Babies are not born Buddhist. Parents train their children in the dharma, teaching them the skills of meditation and mindfulness, the ethical precepts, moral codes, and rituals. The children will take refuge in the Three Jewels if and when they decide to do so. There is no passing of the religion through the parents to the children, as in some of the other great religions of the world.
There is no baptism or naming ceremony, no monastic intervention in the birth of the baby whatsoever. Family is very important in Buddhist life, but as there is no central Buddhist office, church, or higher authority, Buddhism does not have much to do with family ritual. Families are largely a secular matter and not a matter of monastic relevance. Everything falls to the individual and each person's enlightenment is his own responsibility. But Buddhism nonetheless infiltrates the daily life and spirit of the Buddhist family as the family practices together.
How old should a child be when starting a meditation practice?
Young children have trouble sitting still. Forcing them to sit still for long periods of time is probably an exercise in futility or unnecessary punishment. However, innovative practitioners are finding ways to engage children of all ages in mindfulness practice through music, games, and altering the instructions, such as focusing on the souls of your feet when you walk. Teens and young adults can do seated practice, and many retreats are available for these kids, as well as family retreats at the Insight Meditation Society and other retreat centers.
As Buddhism moved to the West, the problem of how to simultaneously maintain a meditation practice and raise a family became a pressing issue. Where could parents find the time to dedicate to their practice if they had young children to care for? As James William Coleman tells us in The New Buddhism, Western Buddhist centers have not done a satisfactory job of providing for children so their parents can practice. Some have offered limited childcare to encourage parents to practice, but even those are few and far between.
Parents come up with creative solutions, such as sharing childcare time with other families who practice. But as Buddhism moves away from monastic focus and laypeople get more involved with Buddhist monasteries and centers, a solution will have to emerge that frees up parents to practice while their children are well cared for.
