Emotional Eyes

Now that you know all about the eyes, you’ll have no problem decoding someone’s emotions by looking at her orbital sockets, right? Well, not exactly. Just like any other subtopic of body language, the eyes have to be read in conjunction with what the rest of the body is saying. Earlier, this chapter mentioned how anatomical differences in the eye can make someone appeared bored when in reality her eyes are always half-closed. So while the eyes are a pretty good indicator of someone’s feelings, you can’t rely on them 100 percent to interpret emotion.

Let’s take a situation where the eyes could confuse you. You’re dating a new woman and even though she expresses a lot of interest in you through her body language—she smiles, laughs, angles herself toward you, gives you lots of friendly little touches—her eyes are always on the move. She’s looking all over the place, and rarely into your eyes. What’s going on here? Is she interested in this relationship or just biding her time?

Based on her other body language signals, she’s definitely somewhat interested. The overactive eyes are cause for concern, though. Give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she’s just easily distracted. Find a place that’s quiet and distraction free and gaze into her eyes. If she makes eye contact in a shy manner—for a second before looking away and looking back—then she’s probably just a little timid (and unschooled in eye-contact technique). But if she still seems as though she’s looking around for an escape route, there’s probably a deeper issue (fear of commitment, or she’s simply just not into you) at play here.

The eyes are a powerful set of tools in the body language workshop. When you learn to effectively use those peepers (say, to woo a cute neighbor or to intimidate an annoying coworker), you’re putting yourself at a definite advantage—and exerting very little effort, by the way. So start perfecting your looks. Make sure your eyes aren’t giving you away when you’d rather hide the truth; make certain that you appear to be sincere when honesty is what you’re offering. And when you’ve perfected your orbital moves, don’t be surprised to find that all eyes are suddenly on you.

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