Do fit people really have better luck than average folks with their body language? It depends on which areas of body language you're talking about. Things like eye contact and smiling aren't really affected by a person's level of fitness. But certainly, a fit person has an advantage when it comes to cues like posture, stance, and angling. Simply put, the muscular body looks more powerful, ready to face a fight and win (an important criteria of the fight-or-flight response you read about in Chapter 1). In comparison, the overweight body doesn't look as ready to rumble.

Fitness is a sign of health — and a sign that you're trying to keep yourself healthy. Whether or not others outwardly acknowledge this, it's in the back of their mind when they come face-to-face with someone who obviously spends a lot of time in the gym or running laps around the track. The very fit body says, “I care about my appearance and my physical well-being.” The general perception is that these folks are a little better than the rest, even if they don't behave that way.

Too Fit?

Is there such a thing as being too in shape? There is; it's when someone crosses the line between taking a healthy interest in exercise and being obsessed with it. When men's muscles appear ready to burst at the seams and women are walking bands of sinew, other people start to take notice in a bad way, questioning whether the super-fit are using steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs. Once this enters into the conversation, it's not such a huge leap for someone to consider that the ultramuscular are somehow cheating nature. (And if they're cheating nature, they're cheaters, period.) Add some overly confident body language to this picture (imagine a body builder strutting his stuff like a peacock, only he's at the post office, not at a competition) and people are bound to conclude that the muscle-bound person in question is arrogant.

Toning Your Body Language

The super-muscular body type says, “My body is my life.” People may start to wonder if you have your priorities straight, if you're capable of caring for anything or anyone as much as you care for your body. Overcoming that kind of judgment can be very difficult. You can't prove you're a decent person unless you get to know someone, but a person who's already decided you're cocky isn't going to want to get to know you.

To prove your humility, you have to go out of your way to be Mr. Nice Guy. Use those friendly cues, go out of your way to talk to other people, and above all, don't do anything to affirm the judgment that you're arrogant. It's all right to be confident, but don't spend your day looking into reflective surfaces, don't flex your muscles while you're talking to other people, and don't use your size to dominate other people. Beating others into submission is not the kind of body language that makes you look like a decent person.