The Purpose Behind the Pickup
If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a hundred times: Men play at love to get sex; women play at sex to get love. These words are never truer than in the initial moments of the pickup. Even in this day and age of sexually liberated women and sensitive men, the roles are more often than not the same as always: The guy is looking for a hookup and the girl is looking for more. Can you tell a person’s true intention about where this is all going from his or her body language?
Some women don’t mind when a man views them as a sex object; other women do. In any event, it’s good to be aware of where his head is before you spend (or waste) time with him. Read his body language and you’ll know what you’re in for.
Actually, oftentimes you can. Some body language rules of thumb for women who are looking for a potential mate are:
• Don’t go home with a guy who hasn’t looked you in the eye for more than one second all night long.
• Don’t go home with a guy who has been rubbing up against you all night.
• Don’t go home with a guy who’s been checking out ten other girls during the course of the night.
In other words, if he hasn’t given you good reason to believe that he actually wants to get to know you at some point—if he hasn’t made eye contact, if sex is first and foremost on his mind (i.e., he’s been groping you all night), and, most of all, if you suspect you’re interchangeable with a number of other females—then he’s not into you, at least not specifically.
What Did That Mean?
Men often feel like they get mixed messages from women. Many women often flirt outrageously but at the end of the night just want you to leave them alone. So how does a man decipher the difference between a woman out for a relationship and a woman out for a hookup?
Man should not live his life based on assumptions, but it is fair to assume that a girl who’s flashing her unmentionables might be interested in sex, whereas it’s also fair to assume that a girl who’s keeping things under wraps might be a bit more conservative and traditional in her expectations.
A woman who is interested in more than a one-nighter with you will:
• Make eye contact with you
• Actually listen to you talk; she’ll angle her body and head in a way that shows she’s interested in what you’re saying
• Give you lots of little friendly touches
• Laugh and smile a lot
A girl who’s interested in a hookup, pure and simple, will behave much in the same way a man in the same situation does, except maybe in a more overt manner. She’ll have her hands all over you and conversation and eye contact won’t be an issue—she’ll be scanning the room for other prospects. If you left the room for ten minutes, another guy would be in your place when you returned.
So there you have it: The key to determining what you’re in for with a girl is whether her body language tells you, “It’s only you for me” (in which case, if you’re not looking for a relationship, leave her alone) or “You’ll do for tonight.”