Confidence Personified
Let's say you know someone who isn't a classic beauty, but men love her anyway. What is she doing that you're not? She's simply projecting her confidence and enjoyment of others through her body language. At a party, for example, she:
Places herself near the center of activity instead of hiding in the corner
Stands tall, projecting confidence
Smiles, laughs, and makes eye contact when she speaks to others
Uses small touches to convey the message “Hey, we're friends”
Angles herself and her head toward whomever she's speaking to
She's not doing anything outrageous or even out of the ordinary; what she is doing is showing a genuine interest in the people around her and welcoming people into her world. Most people will respond to this kind of solicitous behavior in a positive way — that is, they'll want to get to know her. Depending on how brilliant a conversationalist she is or how funny she may be, she may have men eating out of her hand by the end of the night. (Oh, and by the way, she's ten pounds overweight and has a zit on her chin. She's just the kind of girl others would look at and say, “What's she doing with that great-looking guy?” Maybe that guy was powerless to defend himself against her charms, and — just as importantly — she never doubted for one second that the two of them belonged together.)
Setting Is Crucial
Many average-looking men feel as though the deck is stacked against them. They wander out to the nightclubs where they spot women who are dressed to kill … none of whom will speak to them. This is a valid complaint, so step one is to expand your horizons and look beyond the nightclubs. It's hard to break into a pack of girls, and chances are if you've spotted a real beauty at the bar, someone else has his eye on her, too.
This is not to say that you should adopt an attitude of defeatism — it's just best to know when and where to put forth your best efforts. Parties are often a much better setting for meeting someone because you can actually talk to each other in more than three-word phrases (and without shouting). This setup makes it much easier to put your confident body language into action.
So what kind of body language do women look for in the standard good guy (in other words, the guy who will treat them well and not make them wait by the phone for a call that never comes)?
Eye contact
Smiling
A confident posture
Some sign of humility (perhaps a hand in the pocket, or the occasional shrug)
Now, there's an entire subset of women who prefer the bad boy to the good guy and there's a huge difference in nonverbal cues between these two men. Where the good guy's entire presence is based in showing his interest in the woman, the bad boy is cocky beyond belief and woos one woman while checking out the other “talent.” If you're trying to quit your bad boy ways, reread the above list and practice your body language skills. Eye contact is especially important when it comes to convincing a woman that you're more than a player.
