When to Hang It Up

Even when you’re armed with this sort of knowledge, things aren’t always going to work out between you and certain girls. If you’re a real Casanova, this might only happen to you occasionally; if you’re like most guys, it happens more often. You just can’t create attraction where there isn’t any, no matter how hard you try. What are the signs that a girl just isn’t into you and you should pack it in and move on?

Bad Eye Contact

When a girl is interested, she’ll use her eyes to let you know. She’ll make lots of eye contact, bat her lashes, look at you while she angles her head in different ways. When you talk, she’ll be focused on you, not on the people walking by, not on the guy over by the door. If her eyes aren’t into the conversation, she isn’t either.

Keeping Her Distance

If you take a step closer and she takes a step back, that’s not a good sign. If you move over a seat to be closer to her and she asks you to move back, that’s not a good sign. If she could sit down in the empty seat next to you but chooses to sit much farther away, that’s not good.

Basically, if this girl is doing everything in her power to keep you out of her personal space, she either hasn’t noticed you and your intentions or she wants nothing to do with you.

Reserved Body Language

Some girls are naturally more reserved than others, so you can’t always depend on her using lots of friendly touches to let you know she likes you. Still, there should be an element of relaxation between the two of you. If she has her arms and legs tightly crossed as you’re trying to break the ice and those limbs aren’t budging even after you’ve used your funniest lines on her, then she’s probably not interested. Keep trying if you must, but if she doesn’t loosen up, you’re not going to get her number (not her real number, anyway). And really, why would you want it?

Think about it: you’ve gone a step beyond the efforts of other guys by taking the time to learn about nonverbal communication. That’s actually pretty respectful—it sure beats trying to draw a girl’s attention by acting like an overgrown frat boy, and it’s also way better than standing around trying to look cool when you’re actually bored out of your mind.

If you’re not getting anywhere with your target girl, don’t lose hope. Use your body language reading skills to determine which chick might be a better prospect (remember—look beyond the clothing). You should be able to pick out a live wire, a shy type, or a tall, cool one just by watching her interact with other people. Your body language will tell her what she needs to know—whether it’s that you’re sincere, a little nutty, or the strong, silent type. If she’s really a good match, you have nothing to worry about by simply being yourself.

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