The nonverbal language of the head seems pretty simple: You’ve got headshakes, nods, and maybe an angle or two to deal with. In certain parts of the world, though, everything you know about the head is backward. In fact, you could say “yes” when you mean “no,” or insult onlookers with just the touch of a hand. Use that noggin to learn how to avoid making a bad impression once you cross these borders.

A-Head of the Pack

You’re in India, visiting with your old college pal and his family, catching up, sharing some good times. Just as you’ve done a hundred times in the past, you reach out to playfully smack him on the head. Suddenly, his family is looking aghast and your friend is looking uncomfortable. You assure everyone that you didn’t hit him hard enough to hurt him, but your explanation does nothing to smooth their ruffled feathers. What’s going on here?

In India, as well as in Thailand and Tibet, the top of the head is a sacred area—it’s actually considered part of the soul—and you don’t just go around touching it. If you’re not a regular visitor to these parts of the world, you might wonder how and when this knowledge will ever come in handy in your life. Here’s a practical application: don’t pat children of Indian, Thai, or Tibetan descent on the head. (And here’s another: don’t smack adults in the head, no matter what their nationality.)

Yes? No? Huh?

Picture this: You’re vacationing in Greece. You’re supposed to meet up with friends for dinner, but as usual, you’re running late. When you arrive at the restaurant, a waiter asks if you’re meeting someone. You shake your head up and down and he seats you … all by yourself. Did he misunderstand you? No. He did what any Greek would do in the same situation. By nodding your head, you actually said no.

In American culture, of course, you nod to indicate your approval of something and you shake your head to show that you disagree or that you feel strongly that some point of view is wrong. This concept seems so simple, yet you might wonder how and why this gesture gets mixed up in other countries. Well, maybe you’re the one who is getting it backward—maybe “yes” is “no” and “no” is “yes” and Americans are moving their heads in the wrong direction! The important thing to know is that even the simplest nonverbal cues can change from country to country, and it’s best to learn about them before you embark on any trip.

Tossing the Head

Nodding isn’t the only gesture that might throw you off kilter in a foreign land. In Thailand, Laos, and the Philippines, for example, the nonverbal cue for “yes” is tossing the head backward. In India and Thailand, people rock their heads back and forth very slowly to show they’re listening. Because these gestures aren’t common in the United States, it’s not likely that you’d mistake them for other body language cues, as you might mistake nodding to mean “yes” in every country.

As important as it is to acknowledge that the same cue can have different meanings around the world, it’s as important to know that some gestures are unique to the culture in which they’re used—another reason to do your homework before crossing international borders.