This is the time to concentrate on yourself and your new family. You need time to get cued in on the different cries and sounds your baby makes and what they tell you about his needs: the cry when he's hungry; the sound he makes when he needs a diaper change; the wail he bellows when he wants company.

Here are some tips to help you get the necessary privacy and rest:

• In case not everyone was on the phone chain, record a baby announcement on your answering machine or voicemail, and then unplug or turn off the phone.

• Don't sit down without something to drink in front of you — especially if you're breastfeeding. It's important to stay well-hydrated, for your sake and your baby's.

• You should try to take at least two naps a day, but keep in mind that sleep is also dehydrating.

• Try to limit your visiting hours. Friends and neighbors may come bearing gifts or food. Graciously thank them, explain that you're too tired for company, and say you look forward to seeing them over the next several weeks.

Feeling Better Every Day

If you're still having perineal pain, ask your partner to keep those ice packs coming. Or find a discreet patch of sun and expose your perineum for a few minutes a few times a day to help it heal more quickly. You can also run a shallow bath, or use your sitz bath or baby tub. If you have a rubber donut, use it as a cushion in the bath. Add one of several herbal infusions to the water. For example, witch hazel or cypress may stimulate the constriction of blood vessels; comfrey or golden seal are soothing; and lavender may encourage new skin growth. You can buy these as extracts or as dry herbs that you steep in hot water.