You need understanding from your friends nearly as much as you do from your family. It's a bit different in that, typically, your friends don't live with you. It's actually a similar situation to that of extended family. The closeness and tight bond is shared, yet they don't see you on a daily basis like your immediate family. Friends may not be witness to your daily challenges.

The effect on friends is more social in nature. You may not be able to socialize or do as much with them as you once did. You may not feel like talking on the phone every day. You may be unable to go on shopping excursions at the pace you used to find invigorating. You may make plans and have to cancel at the last minute. “Party hearty” may be a phrase that no longer applies.

You Can Help Your Friends Understand

The answer lies in finding things you can still do together. The goal, as in all meaningful relationships, is to enjoy your time together irrespective of what you are doing. Even though you may have figured out what you need to do, you will have days when your friends don't understand. The advice given earlier in the chapter about helping family understand applies to your friends also. Ask your friends to follow the same steps listed above.

Draw from Your Friends' Compassionate Spirit

Your friends have fears, and feel sadness and frustration, too. It's common for your friends to feel anxious around you, not knowing how you will feel on any given day or at any given moment.

Friends have different fears than you have. Your fears are practical: How will the disease change my life? When will I become disabled? Will I earn enough money? Friends wonder how your disease will impact your friendship. Realizing that you can't socialize as easily as you did before, your friends don't want to be shut out of your life. A true friend works at understanding and wants to help you and will also make all of the adaptations with you.