Sadness — You Liked Life the Way It Was
You can be rationally dissuaded from fear and denial, even anger possibly, but sadness is inherently part of living with disabling arthritis. Sadness should be accepted as part of living with chronic disease, but it should not consume you; sadness must be balanced with happy moments.
Bouts of sadness can be triggered by many things. Whatever makes you realize that life isn't the same and you can no longer do some things you once took for granted may provoke feelings of sadness.
Sadness can come from having difficulty with daily chores to having to rethink family traditions. The solution comes with downsizing. If it has become difficult to dust, vacuum, do laundry, and go grocery shopping all in one day, break your to-do list into manageable segments. If it's not possible to cook Thanksgiving dinner for fifteen guests, consider switching to a potluck Thanksgiving tradition, where each guest brings a dish.
Sadness will dissipate once you feel in control of your life again. Chronic illness makes you the priority: It's not selfish to view yourself as a priority, it's a necessity. Consider it self-preservation. Living your best possible life in spite of chronic illness requires that you take care of yourself, establish routines to keep your life structured, and create stability in your life so it feels less chaotic.
Is Sadness the Same as Depression?
Most people think of the physical changes and complications that come from living with a chronic illness, but the emotional effects are just as real. Sadness is rooted in loss, and for arthritis patients that means the loss of ability.
Essential
Tears are a physical response to sadness. Eighteenth-century French writer and philosopher Voltaire once said, “Tears are the silent language of grief.” If you hold back tears, you are stifling your sadness.
Many people mistakenly think sadness and depression are the same. The reality is that sadness is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. Depression is persistent sadness that is often accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, guilt, and even worthlessness. Sadness can be thought of as a mood, while depression is a medical condition. If you feel you have crossed over into true depression, get professional help.
Is Sadness a Permanent Condition?
Part of what causes sadness is the loss of independence and confidence. As you begin to need help with more and more things, your self-esteem can become eroded. The antidote for sadness is to impact your life in ways that will rebuild self-esteem and confidence. Once you give this serious thought and come up with a list of things you can do — things you feel will help you or help others — focus on those things.
