Anger is a normal emotion that comes out of grieving for your prearthritis life. You loved your old life and now it's changing. How can you not be angry? There is nothing you knowingly did to cause arthritis, it just happened. So, along with anger, comes the “Why me?” syndrome. There are no concrete answers to these questions, at least none that would satisfy everyone. Some people of faith feel God has a plan for everyone, and without fully understanding it, they accept their lot in life. Others have a much more difficult time rationalizing “Why me?”

Anger can actually be channeled positively or negatively. If used positively, anger can be the catalyst for causing you to find solutions and better coping skills. Anger used negatively is resentful and can impede good coping skills.

How to Control Angry Feelings

If you don't learn to control or move beyond anger, it can make you irritable, stressed, and argumentative. You will need an outlet for the anger and it may range from minor outbursts to rage. Learning how to control your anger may include: meditation, guided imagery, exercise, yoga, and relaxation techniques.

Angry Ups and Downs

Arthritis is a variable disease, with ups and downs, flares and remissions. You can expect that if anger is one of your primary responses to arthritis, it too will have periods of ups and downs. That is why it's important to recognize that you're angry and learn to control the anger for your better health.

Coming to Terms with “Why Me?”

In your thinking, change “Why me” to “It is me.” It won't help to dwell on things you cannot change. It helps to focus on your goals: Accept limitations, continue to learn about the disease, and focus on today. For some people, focusing on today doesn't even control anger — they're angry at today! In such cases, where anger has a veritable stranglehold on the patient, focusing on one or two specific positive people or events in their lives may provide a needed distraction.

Managing anger is important, even though a certain amount of anger is expected and normal. It can't be allowed to consume you and interfere with your life and well-being.

Why Are You Angry?

It's not hard to understand why some people get caught up in anger. Some people are angry: at the disease, at doctors for not having the cure, at the new reality, at the pain, and because of uncertainty.

It's a genuine emotion and it may be how you really feel. You only need to be sure it's not interfering with positive actions which will help control disease symptoms. Again, support groups or a consultation with a psychologist may help if your anger is beyond what you can manage yourself. There is no shame in needing a little help; arthritis is very difficult to live with successfully.