Getting a diagnosis for adult ADHD can be a difficult and time-consuming process. One reason is that the disorder has as many faces as people who suffer from it and so very few people fit into the tidy classic diagnosis established by the American Psychiatric Association. Often, a parent doesn't realize she has ADHD until her child is diagnosed with the condition and she realizes she has many of the same symptoms.

In addition, the manifestation of core symptoms of ADHD change dramatically as a person moves from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. For instance, perhaps both you and your child have trouble focusing and paying attention, or perhaps you and your child are both restless and at times reckless. In both cases, the two of you are likely to manifest your symptoms in much different ways.

As you examine your past behavior, you may begin to see a common thread between your difficulties with playmates on the school playground and your problems relating to your colleagues at work.

The Hidden ADHD Epidemic in Females

Throughout the history of ADHD, research has focused almost exclusively on men. In fact, until the 1990s scientists believed ADHD was a rarity in females, affecting only one female for every nine males. Today, the ratio has been narrowed to one woman for every two men. Exciting new research is finally untangling the mysteries of how ADHD affects adult women, what causes it, what it looks like, how it differs from the condition in men, and why it has remained an invisible disorder until just recently.

In many cases, researchers failed to notice that many females were also suffering from ADHD simply because their symptoms did not manifest in the same ways. Boys and men with the disorder tend to be aggressive, hostile, and occasionally violent, exhibiting the sort of behavior that gets you put in the corner in grade school, in trouble with the law in your teens, and fired from a job as an adult.

On the other hand, girls and women with ADHD rarely manifest the loud, angry, hostile behavior exhibited by boys their age. Instead, they tend to be shy and a little spacey, although those are just two of the many ways females manifest ADHD differently than men.

Here are some of the major ADHD symptoms in girls and women:

• Women tend to blame themselves for having the disorder and turn their depression and anxiety inward, while men are more likely to rage against society or exhibit hostile or violent behavior.

• Hormonal swings in women are highly likely to exacerbate symptoms of adult ADHD in women. Unfortunately, they are often written off as symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), pregnancy, or menopause.

• Studies show that teenage girls with ADHD suffer more from peer pressure and rejection than boys do, possibly because girls may put a higher priority on being accepted by their peers than boys.

• Women with ADHD typically have a lot more trouble expressing their anger than men do, and they tend to take it out on themselves rather than on society.

• Many careers that are traditionally considered to be the domain of women are not very friendly to women with ADHD. For instance, teachers and nurses must be organized, detail-oriented, and able to meet important deadlines — skills that many women with ADHD find difficult to master. Being a housewife can be equally overwhelming, especially if a woman has to manage the bulk of the household chores, finances, and child care duties.

• More women than men with adult ADHD are single parents, and more than half of women with ADHD are raising at least one child with the disorder.

• Research shows that women with adult ADHD get less support and acceptance from husbands than women give husbands with the condition.

The Accidental Diagnosis

Studies show that three out of four adults diagnosed with ADHD are also suffering from associated conditions like anxiety and depression. Many adults first learn they have adult ADHD when they seek medical help for depression or anxiety and learn that these conditions are the symptoms of a far more complicated disorder.

The Problem with Overlapping Conditions

Getting the right diagnosis can also be complicated by the overlap between the symptoms of adult ADHD and the symptoms of other common psychiatric conditions, such as clinical depression and anxiety. In addition, many undiagnosed adults have found ways to “live with” adult ADHD so it doesn't disrupt their lives. They learn how to mask the symptoms so well that their family physicians never suspect they have the disorder.