Family Therapy
Living with a spouse with adult ADHD can translate into household chaos, especially if the non-ADHD spouse is working fulltime while still handling the brunt of the parenting, homework, and bookkeeping. If he's also saddled with household chores his ADHD spouse routinely neglects or forgets to do, it won't take long for tempers to flare and trouble to erupt.
Therapists can help couples and families organize the household so the ADHD spouse functions more effectively on a daily basis. They can also remove some burdens from the non-ADHD spouse so he feels more like a husband and less like a mother.
Essential
Establishing a family calendar where everyone puts crucial dates, doctor appointments, social engagements, social events, birthdays, and anniversaries in one central location can help relieve the non-ADHD spouse from having to serve as the family “memory bank.” Remembering every detail of the family's comings and goings is a chore that can breed exhaustion, frustration, and resentment.
Visual and auditory cues, such as Post-It notes, lists, and alarms, can also help keep things on track. Creating orderly routines may also help rein in chaos. While non-ADHD people find it easy to establish and automatically follow routines, for many adults with ADHD there is no such thing as an automatic routine.
Your therapist can help you and your ADHD spouse create simple routines that will help keep household clutter and chaos in check. For instance, an ADHD husband might establish the routine of dumping the contents of his pockets in a basket by the door before he enters the house so his wallet, glasses, keys, etc., don't get scattered all over the house.
