Unfortunately, adults with ADHD may find that making and keeping friends takes a great deal of energy and focus. Afraid they'll do the wrong thing, butt in when they're not wanted, or misread nonverbal cues and make a serious social faux pas, ADHD adults often find socializing to be more draining than rewarding and relaxing.

ADHD-Friendly Ways to Make and Keep Friends

Everyone needs friends, especially ADHD adults. If your symptoms have made it difficult or challenging for you to make meaningful friendships and maintain them during troubled times, you may be going about it in the wrong way. Here are some strategies to help you make and keep friendships that can sustain you through good times and bad.

Pick your activities carefully and avoid those that stress or wear you out. Instead, choose those you enjoy the most and find most relaxing. You're already working hard enough to pay attention, focus, concentrate, and read nonverbal cues without forcing yourself to do something you dislike. Engaging in an activity you don't enjoy will only cause you to get bored and tune out or drift away.

Give your brain a rest. Avoid social gatherings or activities that are likely to stress you out because they require maintaining strict focus during lengthy and/or complex conversations. This can include large dinner parties where you're expected to participate in conversation, long lectures that cover complex or unfamiliar material, or foreign movies or operas with subtitles that compel you to follow a plot being spoken or sung in a foreign language. Better bets for ADHD adults include social activities like movies, concerts, and dramatic productions that revolve around passively listening and watching rather than actively participating.

Go for the sports. Attending a sporting event gives you the opportunity to get up, move around, or go grab a hot dog and soda without disturbing the other spectators. Participating in sports lets you blow off stress and anxiety.

Choose “active” dining activities. Rather than formal sit-down dinners that may revolve around long conversations, choose more informal dining engagements, such as buffets, outdoor barbecue and pool parties, potluck parties, or casual dinners centered around home or rental movies. These options offer more chances for hyperactive types to get up and move around and for inattentive types to focus on short, informal conversations with people of their choosing.

Practice being a pal. Making and keeping friends requires time and effort on your part, so don't expect friendships to flourish in a vacuum. Make staying in touch with friends easy and fast by creating a master list of names, phone numbers, and e-mails on your computer. Set aside some time every week to touch base with close friends and set up lunch dates or activities with those who live nearby. If you have limited time for staying in touch, remember that it's better to make a quick phone call or send a short e-mail than to do nothing at all.

Surprise your friends on important dates. Your thoughtfulness in remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions will go a long way toward cementing relationships. To keep track of dates and send gifts with the touch of a button, use an online service like www.birthdayalarm.com.

Flex your creative muscles. If you're artistic, make your own cards. They're practically guaranteed to win a place of honor on the recipients' refrigerator or mirror. Use your creativity to make unusual, one-of-a-kind gifts, such as homemade cookies and fudge. Or use your imagination to buy something for a friend you know she would never buy for herself, such as a beautiful vase, a massage at a local day spa, a signed first edition hardcover written by her favorite author, or a gift coupon for dinner at a gourmet restaurant.