Recognizing Addictive Behaviors
If signs and symptoms of addiction are noticed in a loved one, don't shy away from asking questions and evaluating the situation. Addictions can be more than unpleasant — they can become downright destructive, and it is dangerous to ignore the early signs.
Some signs of addiction are obvious and others are more subtle or may be interpreted as other disorders. For example, depression is a diagnosis all its own, but it may also be a symptom of addiction. Anxiety is another state that can be a symptom of addiction, as well as being a separate mental disorder.
Those who are struggling with addictions may at first resent loved ones asking questions about their addictive behaviors. The addicted individual might be tempted to misinterpret the questions as his loved one intruding into his private business. If you are the one concerned about someone with addictions, don't let this put you off.
Remember that distorted thinking is often a psychological effect of the addiction and an addicted loved one may not be thinking as clearly as usual. Once he has received effective treatment, he may very well be greatly appreciative of your efforts.
Fact
Home drug-test kits are available. For example, TestMyTeen.com offers a urine drug-test kit that tests for ten of the most common illegal drugs: cocaine, amphetamine, marijuana, opiates, methamphetamine, barbiturates, ben-zodiazepines, oxycodone, Ecstacy, and narcotics.
If you are on the outside looking in and suspect that a friend or loved one might be involved in the use of an addictive substance or behavior, it is all right to express your concerns and try to help her identify the problem. Here are some ways you might approach your friend or loved one.
First of all, reaffirm to your friend or loved one that you are talking with her and asking questions because you care for her welfare.
Make noncritical observations about her change in habits (e.g., sleeping patterns, staying out all night, missing meals) and ask if these changes are related to substance use or compulsive behaviors.
If teachers, coworkers, or bosses have been calling with complaints or concerns, let your loved one know, and ask for an explanation in a nonjudgmental manner. Let her know you are ready and willing to help with problems.
In a loving but firm manner, confront lying and excuses as related to substance use or compulsive behaviors.
Again, with a loving but firm approach, hold the addicted friend or loved one accountable for theft or breaking the law. Try to discover the facts of the situation if possible.
What kind of people are addicts?
Any type of person can struggle with addiction. Movie stars, doctors, lawyers, blue-collar workers, college students, and the homeless are all capable of becoming addicts. People of all racial and ethnic groups can develop addictions. The common denominator is body chemistry and how the brain reacts when a potentially addictive substance or behavior is introduced.
Always make it clear that you are asking questions because you care and want to help. You may be tempted to blame yourself for the addictions of your friend or loved one. Don't fall into this trap. You are not responsible. Neither is the addicted person responsible for the malfunctions in her brain that contribute to the addictive process. It is not helpful for the addicted person or those who care about her to avoid the signs and symptoms of addiction. This only delays identifying the problem and forming a plan to get help.
Effectively approaching a friend or loved one who may be struggling with addictions is not easy. It is common to fear anger or rejection. No one enjoys these difficult confrontations. However, it is important to remember that the purpose of the confrontation is to help the friend or loved one avoid difficult consequences, suffering, or even death.
Approach him with a caring attitude. Make observations, ask questions that reflect a desire for information, and listen. Avoid blaming him or making accusations, as this approach is rarely effective. Make it clear that this is about helping him return to a healthier and more satisfying lifestyle.
